


To Succour and Save

by Betty



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen, Undercover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-01
Updated: 2005-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-12 11:18:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betty/pseuds/Betty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So <a href="http://maelithil.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://maelithil.livejournal.com/"><strong>maelithil</strong></a> and I were discussing the sordid and trashy AUs we love. Everyone's a hooker! Rent-boy! Harem fic!</p><p>And somehow we came to discuss who, exactly, would be sent by the Justice League to infiltrate-- no, actually, just wait for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Succour and Save

**Author's Note:**

> Those of you who voted for more crack should be pleased by this! And I'm afraid that those of you who voted for more porn may have to step up to the bat for yourselves, on this one. It's not so much a story as free-floating crack. [](http://petronelle.livejournal.com/profile)[**petronelle**](http://petronelle.livejournal.com/) betaed, and stopped me from giving Ollie a Canadian accent.

Superman's fingers are steepled and he looks very concerned. "We recently received a troubling report from the Sheeya about activity in their sector."

"Sheeya?" whispers Kyle.

"Remember, you towed their weather satellite back into place," hisses Wally.

Kyle's face goes lax. "Mmm. I remember the banquet afterwards. Their little fluffy deserts were like an _orgasm_ in my mouth."

Somehow Wally's face is very expressive behind his hood.

"Uh. But not like that sounded," says Kyle hurriedly.

"Gentlemen?" says J'onn. "Do we have your attention?"

Both of them sit up and try to look like they were paying attention.

"The Sheeya tell us that they were approached by a representative from the Froolians, about supplying slaves for their market. Naturally, the Sheeya were horrified--"

Hawkman interrupts. "But how can that be? We've bought supplies from the Froolians before and I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed slaves in the catalogue."

J'onn takes over the explanation. "The Sheeya claim that the Froolians are aware that many civilizations condemn the practise, and only reveal this aspect of their trade to customers who seem appreciative."

Kyle raises an eyebrow. "And what, the Sheeya just seemed like the slave owning type?"

Superman looks mildly abashed. J'onn continues. "The Froolian ambassador visited during a religious festival, during which certain... ceremonial role playing takes place."

Ollie's eyebrow creeps up. "Ceremonial role playing, hunh? Sounds like my kind of religion."

"Um," says Superman.

J'onn turns on the display.

There's a moment of silence. The scene is a banquet hall, much like the one they celebrated the recalibration of the satellite in, except--

"I-- I really remember them wearing more than that, when we visited," says Kyle.

"At least... the men sure were," says Wally.

Wonder Woman snorts. "Man's World and your prudery about nudity. Those breech clouts offer a great deal of modesty."

Kyle mutters under his breath, "would she be saying that if the women were--"

Wally says, "you do remember her uniform don't you?"

"Point."

J'onn gives them both a quelling look.

Hawkman leans forward. "But how do we know that this is true? If it's going on, we certainly have to stop it, but we've only got the Sheeya's word on it."

Superman coughs. J'onn gives him a quelling look. "The Sheeya have offered us a chance to travel with their delegation. Although the Froolians would not tell us about their slave trade, if they believe us to be Sheeya they will have no qualms. The Sheeya have decided to extend the observation of their religious rites for the purpose of investigating the infrastructure of the Froolian organization."

"Does that mean what I think it means?" asks Ollie.

Superman coughs several times. Everyone ignores him.

"Because I think I'm past my loin-cloth years."

Kyle closes his eyes. "Thank you for that mental image."

J'onn continues. "As Green Arrow has pointed out, this would mean sending two members, one a male taking the guise of the Supplicant, the other a female playing the part of the Sister to the Sun. The Sheeya have asked that these members take part in certain cleansing rites, but would not otherwise be asked to observe their religion."

Wally pipes up. "I think Kyle should go! He's the prettiest."

Kyle is about to strenuously deny this when Batman finally speaks. "Don't be ridiculous. None of you have the necessary experience undercover. I'll go."

The entire table contemplates Batman in a loincloth in silent terror. It's probably a pretty good thing Superman doesn't actually need to breathe. No one is going to be brave enough to tell Batman he kind of lacks credibility as harem boy.

"Good idea," says Wonder Woman. "I will accompany you."  


* * *

LATER ON THE FROOLIAN TRADE STATION:

"Your slave certainly is... large," observes the Froolian.

Diana smiles and shows her teeth. "You have _no_ idea."

Bruce manages to simper, but Diana has faced down angry gods and does not quail.

The Froolian extends one clawed finger toward Bruce's chest and then thinks better of it. "He has quite a few scars."

Diana casually places a hand on Bruce's neck. "I beat him. A lot."

Bruce looks sultry.


End file.
